


I jest not

by Lonliest_muffin



Series: Weird AUs/Plot Bunnies??? [8]
Category: Katekyou Hitman Reborn!
Genre: Adult Arcobaleno (Katekyou Hitman Reborn!), Alaude is a woman because why not, Alternate Universe - Dragons, Alternate Universe - Magic, Alternate Universe - Medieval, Arcobaleno (Katekyou Hitman Reborn!) As Family, BAMF Skull (Katekyou Hitman Reborn!), Branding, Dying Will Flames (Katekyou Hitman Reborn) Are Magic, Gen, Genderbending, M/M, Skull (Katekyou Hitman Reborn!)-centric, Slow Burn
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-01-31
Updated: 2021-02-03
Packaged: 2021-03-18 13:07:20
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 2
Words: 3,538
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29118726
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Lonliest_muffin/pseuds/Lonliest_muffin
Summary: Life as a Jester has it's ups and downs.It is a nomadic lifestyle afterall. At this point, it's in his nature to want to keep moving.Naturally then, he didn't plan to stay here for long, but this village is full of young children that call out brightly with joy whenever they spot him on the street...Skull can't really just leave them be with no entertainment, can he?Even if, as of late, he has been hearing more and more worrying rumors of some idiots going out of their way to mess with Dragons of all things...
Relationships: Arcobaleno & Skull (Katekyou Hitman Reborn!), Arcobaleno/Skull (Katekyou Hitman Reborn!), Skull & Vindice (Katekyou Hitman Reborn!)
Series: Weird AUs/Plot Bunnies??? [8]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1996678
Comments: 18
Kudos: 53





	1. Honorable Exile

**Author's Note:**

  * For [CCloudy](https://archiveofourown.org/users/CCloudy/gifts), [Cloud__Chaser](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Cloud__Chaser/gifts).



> This is a Plot Bunny that wouldn't leave me be, so please enjoy!

~~In the faraway past~~

War is a hideous thing.  
It tears apart families, sows hatred and creates injustice. Even so, countless Kingdoms and Alliances under their reign create and fight wars, often for senseless reasons.  
Entire Empires have been brought to ruin by this senseless Hubris, starting more wars than they could've ever fought.  
However there are limits, _Rules_ , even war ought not to ignore. 

That's where they come in. 

Them. The Vindice.  
Feared and Respected Specters. The harbinger of Justice. **_The Executioners._**  
Like formless Shadows, they linger at the edges of battlefields, all seeing, yet rarely needing to truly interfere.  
Rarely, because, even as these Empires hunger for more land, more resources, more people... They are ruled by mere humans. 

And Humans, at their cores, are compassionate creatures. Most of them easily see the logic behind the long established rules.  
What need is there to bring down villages that are neither affiliated with them, nor their enemy?  
Why would they resort to senseless, widespread destruction, when all that force could instead be applied when facing their actual opponents?  
What need is there to involve each other's civilians? 

Truly, most humans, even those leading some of the biggest empires, would rather not risk what little advantage breaking these rules could bring. Because They, _the Vindice_ , are **always** here to enforce these rules. 

Especially when They're faced with a kingdom lead by singleminded Savages.  
_Nuvole_ , the Cloud Kingdom, had always been a thorn in their side, the black sheep, sticking out like a sore thumb. Needlessly violent, cruel even to its own people.  
Yet they never broke a rule in such a way that their execution would be justified. 

No, it took many long years, and a brave soul from within the Kingdom's inner circles, for Them to find enough proof to finally drag those responsible to justice. It would be a public execution, to soothe the near rampaging civilians and soldiers that had to endure the royal family's tyranny for far too long. 

The day of the trial came and, alongside them, Alaude took her spot on the stage. Not to be executed, but to be corronated, for it was her that lead the rebellion. Her that tipped them off to the injustices that happened within Nuvole's closed gates.  
She had chosen for her coronation to happen like this, for she had wanted to grind this fact into the former nobility's faces. The crown was placed upon her platinum blond head and vicious smiles and applause overtook the crowd. The nobility would find no forgiveness there.

However, they are the harbinger of Justice.  
While They are most definitely executioners, that is secondary to their responsibility toward Justice.  
A hush falls over the crowd as Jager steps up, raising his voice to be heard by all. "May the Trial begin." 

Alaude wisely steps of the stage at that point, hopping down into the crowd and gathering her children into her arms. Two of them, both boys, one barely a toddler, the other standing almost as tall as her. Those two are surely cut of the same cloth as their mother. Someday, they will do well to lead this Empire.  
Until then, however... Jager turns to the captured and chained nobility, taking in their bruised, beaten appearance and feeling little sympathy. "You were proven guilty of Attacking unaffiliated Villages and Imprisoning and Torturing your Enemy's Civilians. Furthermore, we have received countless eyewitness accounts of you ordering your soldiers to attack your own citizens unjustly."

Nuvole are a prideful bunch. They are raised to have a warrior's spirit, strong and truthful. Even this doesn't prevent this lowly nobility from falling into a chorus of denial. It is quite amusing.  
Jager is just about to remind them that they have already been found guilty, when one from among the nobility speaks up, his voice firm, yet calm. "Yes. Those accusations - all of that is correct!" 

This young man has a mess of purple hair and shockingly purple eyes, narrowed to a fierce look of determination. The other nobility hiss and growl at him, but the man steps forward, frowning, pure determination in his faint scowl as he repeats himself. "All of that is correct. What will be our punishment?" 

This is... Unusual. Yes, they don't get to preform these executions a lot, but this is still a first. Never before has someone been this... Honest when faced with their judgement.  
Oddly enough, a chorus of whispers passes below, soon rising to some of the audience calling out, sounding genuinely confused. "Sir Cherep-What is he doing up there?!"

The man, Sir Cherep apparently, looks over the crowd, a sad smile quirking his bruised lips. He speaks to the gathered civilians and they only let it happen, because this is most curious. "I'm nobility, remember? When the castle was stormed I... Was captured too."

Now there are people shouting, here and there, of all walks of life. Soldiers, the elderly, even most of the youth. They sound genuinely outraged. "Sir Cherep never condoned the Nobility! Release him! Release him right now!" 

Nuvole are an odd bunch. Prideful, Strong and Territorial to ridiculous degrees. Especially of their own people. It seems this one nobleman has done no wrong in the eyes of these people.  
But they cannot simply excuse any of the nobility. Not in this case. Just because this man never condoned the war crimes that were committed, doesn't mean he gets to evade justice.

Its a pointless offer, the man is pure blooded, prideful Nuvole afterall, but it's the only thing Jager can do for him. "If this is the case and you condem your fellow nobility and their actions, you shall not be executed. Instead you will be branded and dishonorably exiled." 

The audience explodes into outrage, predictably. For a true, born and raised Nuvole, being stripped of their honor, is seen as a fate worse than death. Understandably then, a twisted, sickening grin befalls the captured nobility. They too are convinced that such an offer is really no offer at all. To all of these people there is but one choice this man could make.

Cherep pauses, blinking rapidly, before a smile slowly spreads over his lips. It's not the reaction any of the Vindice expected. Even less so when the young man steps forward, downright eager, raising his chained arms to press his fingers into his own cheek. "Then brand me. _Right. Here._ For all the world to see."

Silence falls after that declaration, shocked exclamations coming from just about everyone, but this rather odd man isn't done talking yet. A certain kind of savagery overtakes his expression, the same fierceness the Nuvole are so well known for. He growls the words, whisps of an incredibly pure magic seeming to fall from his lips. "I've never wanted to take part in making others suffer. **_Brand me._** _I will wear the scar like a damned **Badge of Honor.**_ " 

In the following silence, one of the nobility, a woman with a shrill, distraught voice, shrieks at the man. Her hair is rosy and she shares some features with Sir Cherep. Most likely his mother then. "You worthless Moron! Have you no shame?! Have you no _Pride_ in your Blood?!" 

And the Vindice begins to rather like this odd man right around this moment. Because this absolute contradiction of a Nuvole man turns to his mother, gives her a bored look and calmly, but _loudly_ states. _"I would rather spend the rest of my lifetime being ridiculed as a **lowly Jester** , than to find **Pride** in the atrocities you've brought upon innocent people."_

This is all most amusing, but the Trial must go on. Jager waits a moment, to ensure the man has finished speaking, before calmly declaring. "Then it shall be so."

Cherep turns back to him, a slight smile on his lips, although his eyes are saddened now. The audience, civilians and soldiers alike, are raging at the perceived injustice, barely holding themselves back from jumping on the stage to rescue their only kind Nobel.  
Jager pays none of them any mind, looking at the young man as he declares his Judgement. "Sir Cherep de Nuvole. You shall lose your name, your status and any connection you've forged to this place. You shall wander aimlessly, never to find home again. And you shall be branded for eternity, not as a traitor, but as one that is to be condemned nevertheless. Do you accept these terms?"

There is no hesitation, although the crowd is screaming its disagreement, although the nobility itself, is begging the now nameless man to reconsider his choices. There is a smile on his lips and he wears his newfound freedom quite nicely. "I accept your Judgement, praised Vindice."

Some of the people actually break out in tears, screaming their disagreement yet still and it brings a pained edge to the nameless man's smile. Jager steps close to him, raising one hand and collecting his lightless magic at his fingertips. There is eternity in his voice, yet the nameless man does not flinch back. Even when the searing hot magic comes closer to his face. "So it shall be." 

Jager presses the dark magic into the man's pale cheek, the skin sizzling instantly, a mark carving itself deep into the flesh there. Now people are trying to jump on the stage and his fellow Vindice have to intercept them.  
Chaos is breaking out around them, but Jager is much more intrigued with this man that doesn't flinch back from the pain his magic inflicts. "What is your name, young one?" 

There is a tremble of effort in the purple haired man's voice, but even faced with this chaos, faced with his own judgment, he manages a shaky smile. Truly, his resilience is admirable. "My name..? Call me... Call me Skull. Skull DeMort..."

Skull is rather interesting and Jager can't wait to tell Bermuda of all that has happened today. Surely, some day, this man will find his way back to them once more. One could say it is ordained by fate, that those that can tolerate their magic with minimal discomfort, will eventually become one of their own. "Well then, Skull-kun. I wish you the best of luck." 

Skull manages one bright, teary-eyed smile, for the civilians and soldiers, before Jager let's his magic wrap around the young man, whisking him up into the sky and far, far away to uncharted lands.  
Then... Well. Then, Jager has to attend to countless enraged Nuvole Civilians. And the Trial still needs to continue too. There are several people for them to execute afterall. 

....  
It's nice that there won't be innocent blood on their hands today. 

~~In the current time~~

Life as a Jester has it's ups and downs.  
It is a nomadic lifestyle afterall. At this point, it's in his nature to want to keep moving.  
Naturally then, he didn't plan to stay here for long, but this village is full of young children that call out brightly with joy whenever they spot him on the street...  
Skull can't really just leave them be with no entertainment, can he?

Even if, as of late, he has been hearing more and more worrying rumors of some idiots going out of their way to mess with Dragons of all things...


	2. A Vagabond

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A lone wanderer enters a bar....
> 
> He trips on his way out.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This Fanfiction is dedicated to CCloudy, because they are amazing and one of my favourite readers/commenters! 💜  
> It's also dedicated to Cloud__Chaser, because their work 'Trapped in another world' was an inspiration for this and they made my other fanfiction 'Embers Underwater' some amazing fanart! 💕
> 
>  **Check the fanart for Embers Underwater out here:**  
>  https://twitter.com/Dirkapitation1/status/1313889328163172355?s=19  
> https://twitter.com/Dirkapitation1/status/1315825678118461447?s=19
> 
>  **Also check out their dope fanfiction here:**  
>  https://archiveofourown.org/works/25832737/chapters/62757880

The first time Skull heard of it, he'd just entered the sleepy old village, about to merely wander through, but a long lasting thirst pulled him to take a quick stop at the local bar. Its a dingy little joint, cigar smoke heavy in the air, but near everyone in there was in a sensational mood. The barkeep, a gorgeous lad with cropped, teal green hair and a dark green vest, had been a bright-eyed chatterbox from the moment Skull stepped up to take a seat. "Ah- A traveler! We don't get many of your kind. What can I get you?"

And, because Skull is by no means impolite, he'd given the handsome man one of his brightest smiles. "Just some beer, thanks." 

And the barkeep set about his business with flourish, glancing continuously at Skull, obviously much curious of him. Inevitably, the mark upon his cheek drew the young man's attention and, for but a moment, the man hesitated, before presenting him with his glass. "What's that on your cheek, stranger?" 

Skull grabbed his glass and took a sniff, almost grimacing at the sharp smell, but his throat protested when he went to put the drink down. The river water from yesterday did nothing to quench his thrist, so maybe this would suffice. He took a cautious sip, just to taste, before responding at his leisure. "It's a Mark of Exilement."

As per usual, as soon as the words passed his painted lips, everything _stopped_. Suddenly, countless, fearful glances were thrown his way and the previously merry folk began to edge their way towards escape or weaponry. Even the barkeep was frozen in place, clearly caught of guard.  
Fortunately, after the fifth or sixth time this happened, Skull learned to understand. The careful caution no longer ruffles his feathers. He gives the barkeep an easy smile. "Ah. Worry not. I am, but a Vagabond."

They barely relaxed a fraction, so the entertainer in Skull stepped up and he pulled out his dramatics. Placing down his glass and pulling his hands to his chest. Polstering his voice and gesturing to give more meaning to his words. "Yes, you hear right! A simple Wanderer-A fool, truly! I mean no harm. I am but a homeless, landless Jester. The Great Skull-sama is simply passing through your lovely village~"

And, _of course_ , he ends his performance with _flourish_ , bowing in such a way that his prized Jester's cap flips from where it rested against his shoulder blades, to land, just slightly crooked, on his fluffy hair. Involuntarily, a smile quirked the barkeep's lips, although there was still caution in the way he held himself. "An Exiled... You are the first with that mark I've seen." 

Skull slipped out of his role as entertainer then, lightly scratching at his mark, out of habit, doing little else to calm the flush that rises to his cheeks. "Um, yeah. I'm not being punished for any crime. I was in the wrong place at the wrong time. Unfortunately, it was still impossible for me to stay where I had been." 

The thought alone brings sadness to his features and, for a moment, he stares forlornly at his glass, wishing he could afford the wine instead. But things are as they are, so he picks the glass back up and knocks it back in one go, to get something in his stomach more than anything. It had been quite a while since he'd last had a proper meal.  
The barkeep surprises him then, speaking in such a soft tone of voice. "I was worried more lawless thieves would plague our village..." 

Some of the beer went down the wrong pipe and Skull soon found himself doubled over slightly, coughing faintly into his fist. From this close, the bar was filthy, smeared and spotted with fluids long forgotten. That's what really made him grimace.  
Still, he felt the need to reassure the kind man. After he regained his breath and managed to stop chuckling. "Ohohoho-no-No~ I'm not a thief- I follow the law. On occasion, I've even enforced it."

He wipes the tears from his eyes, giving the man a smaller, more private smile. There is something involuntarily paternal in his voice. It seem Skull truly can't help this urge to please and help people wherever he goes. "Does this place have lots of trouble with thieves?" 

The barkeep loses the last of his tension, charmed by Skull's laughter apparently. He steps close, giving him a soft, stressed smile of his own. "It was fine, up until recently. The townsfolk sure wasn't pleased, but the guards managed. At least when the thieves knew their place is among people."

The barkeep's expression sours then, turns bitter and furious. "Recently, those lawless fools have started pestering the mythical. Now they're sowing fear and distress."

This was news to Skull and it was plenty concerning. "The mythical? I plan to pass through the forest near here soon. Should I keep my guard up?" 

At this, the barkeep blinked rapidly, before chuckling slightly, amusement glinting in his teal eyes. Quite the adorable lad, mind you. "No-no-Haven't you heard, traveler? Near here, there lives one of the Elemental. The Cloud Dragon. It's why we don't get a lot of travelers. People are intimidated." 

Admittedly, Skull needed a moment to restart his brain, sputtering before he manages his next sentence. "One of the Elementals?! Surely you're joking-" 

The teal haired beauty can't seem to contain his laughter at his surprise, giving him a kind smile then. "No, I'm not. Years ago, the Cloud Dragon settled down near our village. And things have been fine. It keeps to itself and avoids people. So we just do our best not to bother it either." 

Ah, he'd spilled some of his beer in his surprise. Skull flustered brightly, pulling out one of his handkerchiefs and wiping the spill down. His voice comes out a stutter as well. "I-I see-and... The thieves are..."

The barkeep seems a little lost, staring at his handkerchief, before snapping back to himself and giving him a strained smile. "There is this guild of bandits. They call themselves Carcassa. A blasphemous lot, they are. They think themselves strong enough to pester an Elemantal... Lowly scum..." 

And Skull had met people during the many years he'd been wandering. That guild is one of the only ones he occasionally does little missions for, specifically because they are one of the less unsavory ones! It's how'd he'd even ended up enforcing the law at times!  
Understandably then, his voice came out high-pitched and strained. "They're _pestering_ it?!" 

His absolute distress and confusion seemed to be taken as outrage and the barkeep gave him a solemn nod. "The Dragon's hoard. It's a real treasure. From what I've heard, someone keeps attempting to steal from it and it makes the Elemental furious." 

Skull had to finish his beer, just for an excuse to gather his thoughts. Because this simply can't be.  
The Carcassa _adore_ the Elementals. Those guys worship and respect the mythical, which was one of the many reasons Skull even began to associate with them!  
But that is inner knowledge. An outsider would never know these little facts. Much less sympathize with bandits. 

And Skull wasn't looking to have a whole village up in arms about his temporary residence. So... He had to play the part. Luckily, he's an entertainer.  
Skull _slammed_ his drink down, putting on his most furious scowl and glaring down at the empty glass. "Those bastards..." 

For a split second, the barkeep seemed caught of guard, before the surprise smoothed out to an increasingly pleased smile. "I'm worried they will eventually succeed and put the Elemental in such rage that it'd attack the village trying to regain it's hoard..." 

That's.... No. That's just wrong.  
Unless it or it's spawn were injured, none of the Elemental would needlessly attack villages. They are said to be incredibly intelligent and self aware creatures. Not even the Cloud Elemental, the most possessive and territorial of them all, would deliberately attack humans over such a small offense! 

Once upon a time, Skull thought this way too. It was the Carcassa that corrected him on this matter to begin with! They would _never_ pester any mythical creature! Especially an Elemental! Never ever!

But Skull has a part to play, which means he only slowly smoothes out the fury in his expression, grumbling faintly, before peeking up and blinking at the barkeep. "Does your village have use for a Jester? If so, the Great Skull-sama will stick around and make sure those Bandits are brought to justice-" 

The handsome man laughs lightly at his enthusiasm, giving him such a pretty smile before shrugging mildly. "Perhaps you'll find your footing with the local youth? My bar has no use for such entertainment." 

Skull grumbles briefly, huffing, before remembering he still has to pay. He pulls out a silver coin, leaves it on the counter and stands up, giving the barkeep his most determined pout. "I'll find my footing somehow! You'll see-"

Then he marches out of the bar, stumbling once, just to break the odd tension. He undercalculated the weight of his bag however and ended up actually tripping out the door and down the little stairs.  
Geez, it just really wasn't his day, huh?

At least, his _spectacular_ blunder got some giggling out of a passing youngster. Just like back home, the youth here seemed most amused by other people's misfortune. Which was really just convenient.  
All that was left for Skull to do is get on stage and make a fool of himself. Now, where could he find a wooden box to make himself a stage? He also still needed to find the main street, just to maximize his audience... 

Something strange would be happening in this little village and his... Instincts, maybe? Something told Skull he should extend his brief stay...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> **Quiz!**  
>  Can anyone guess who is this mysterious barkeep?  
>  _Hint: He's not on the side of good._
> 
> Those who guess correctly get a chance to name this sleepy village at the edge of a forest~
> 
> **Notice: This quiz ends on the 7th of February!**

**Author's Note:**

> Kudos and especially comments are my biggest inspiration!


End file.
